Whirlwind

In the past six weeks it feels like my life has completely changed. My partner and I have moved from our stunning flat into a beautiful house, complete with a back garden and an incredible view. We've just started to get our weekends back after weeks of moving preparation, decorating, getting our previous home up to scratch and spending time with family.

In this time we've found out something which will change our lives completely, and subsequently has started to change us as people, along with this bears a lot of complications, uncertainty and worries. With both of us waiting on essential and life changing knowledge we're finding it hard knowing how to deal with limbo, how to control the sporadic changes in emotion.. and weather to feel hopeful or give up.

My partner being the more optimistic of the two is dealing better, but as I look into his eyes and watch them fill up I know he feels the same, a wave of sadness consumes us; and we briefly let it, before brushing it away and accepting that we currently don't know anything, and can change no outcome. In the past week I have felt every emotion under the sun, I finally let myself be hopeful to then end up in agonizing tears because it was the only explanatory act for how I felt. Not only has my (and our) whole life changed recently, but we're on a road to it changing forever, whatever the outcome we won't end up the same people afterward. I am so lucky to have such a great soul to be sharing both the good and bad with, someone whom I love so much.

All I can think, all I can feel, little one don't give up yet, we have such a large place in our heart for you and you couldn't comprehend how empty we're feeling with the prospect of not knowing you. You were a surprise, you are wanted more than anything, you will never know a day without love, little one don't give up yet.