February 14th

I'm not a valentines fanatic (however I must state I am a total romantic), never have been wether i've been in or out of a relationship. Last year was my first valentines that I felt there a reason as to why it existed (also the first year I was with my partner), he came home with the most beautiful bunch of  flowers which he spent his lunch picking at a florists! Despite us having already discussed not getting eachother anything (we got cards and wrote loving words instead- funnily enough the exact same card which still makes us laugh), however receiving this bunch of flowers felt amazing, reason being only a few weeks earlier he'd bought me a bunch to congratulate me on a new job, and bought this second bouquet as it was now something special we shared, I never having received them, him never having given them. They made our little flat look beautiful (I did tell him off for spending the money though).

We went out for dinner last night however, to a little restaurant that we went to on a spur evening out sometime last year. We went for a meal to treat ourselves and celebrate us. Treats are a fairly  rare occurrence, spending money on work expenses, house expenses, we usually stay in together, see friends, try not to spend money, which we inevitably never have. We often do romantic little gestures for eachother, and so the feeling of 'having' to at valentines doesn't even play a part in our minds, we enjoy spending time together, doing spontaneous things, showing how much we care on a daily basis, so that throughout the whole year any one of these days could be valentines for all anyone would know. Ive always been a firm believer that if you love someone, you want to show them every day, not just on one commercial day, but thinking about it the commercial day is just for fun, give your loved one a soppy card despite them knowing how much you care, treat yourself to a night at the cinema or a long walk because you want to spoil yourself and do something fun for the day, make time to do something when you usually don't. I don't agree with buying mindless presents (personally), as i'd rather us contribute our money to have an experience, go somewhere for the day, or buy something for our home, this seems so much more romantic, and something that we'll remember.

Single or in a couple I think this day should be for about making time for your loved ones and showing them you care, whether it be partner, closest friends or  family (I have in the past given a valentines card to my parents, just to show how much I love them). Every single person should put on something pretty and celebrate loving yourself! (and someone else if there lucky enough to have your love)!

To my one and only Love; I would never be able to express the extent of what I feel

February 4th

I don't know why I feel in a rut, I still haven't figured it out. This week all I've felt like doing is sleeping when I get in, exhausted, bad skin, just feeling a bit blue and the weather definitely isn't helping. The only thing that's making me happy in my current state is spending time with my family, and staying in the warm indoors with my mr. On the other side of the blue i'm feeling quite lovey and romantic, and want to do special things, and go for little adventures with my loved one, but without the funds to spare for anything I just need to have a brainstorm and think of warm, lovely things to do, and drink a lot of redbull beforehand. Not quite sure why i'm feeling so loved up and everything (dont get me wrong I always do, and always feel the luckiest girl due to my boyfriend), but at the moment i'm feeling a large additional amount of extra love. Maybe its both of us being broke, stuck indoors due to funds, and the cold and both being completely worn out from work that's making me want to spend more quality time doing lovely things, making more lovely memories. 2010 was hands down the best year of my life (and the last month of 09 meeting my partner), and i'm probably craving this one to be as great, even though we're only a month in! I want to go to Paris, and walk to the Eiffel tower, pass the extraordinary architecture, and have the romantic trip there which i've always longed (ive been on an art trip with school, beautiful but not the same), and I want to wander down the streets of Venice, admiring the buildings, the fashion, mushy mushy :)

A personal one for my partner, I love this film, it only makes me think of him, so incredibly romantic how there eyes catch eachothers, I remember when we first caught eachothers, a strange, funny, romantic story.

I love him far more than words. If romance will get me through my slump, romance it is :)

January 18th

A little bit of blurb I don't know where to put or even if it bears any relevance to anything.

I'm yet to know what this blog is, i'm a ridiculously scatty brained person with my mind going off in tangents within seconds. I think sometimes my boy finds it hard to keep up, as often a confused look jumps to his face.

I don't completely understand this site, or how to make things pretty, for the time being (without the buttons i'd love) there is a nice colour and I can insert pictures, works for now. I read hundreds of different blogs, fashion blogs, beauty, lifestyle. I wish I could incorporate these things into mine, but I currently don't feel comfortable with my style or my appearance to have anything worthy of documenting. Currently whatever pops into my head will most likely be posted, it's how i've always been (fortunate or unfortunate) in life, so why would I change now?!

I'm a fashion design graduate currently working as a website product photographer for a fashion company. My days are spent with flashes going off in my eyes and sitting on the computer photoshopping until I can no longer see. Days vary as to whether I like my job or loathe it, it's not the area I feel is best for me, but whilst I don't have a clue where I want to end up, but currently this is a good place to experience the working world, and don't think for one second im not greatful for a job when I know its difficult finding one. Getting this job was lucky for me, i'd graduated uni and came back to the dead end bar job i'd been doing on and off for a few years, I met my partner, quit my shit job (earning nothing!) and was unemployed for a few months, sending off 7-10 applications weekly for everything, and doing a few months of home caring in the mean time.

Fashion and clothes have been the only thing that I can think back to have interested me as much when I was 12/13 as they still do now. I'm not continually up to date with current trends, and buy vogue more for the editorial shoots (fashion photography is my art) than I do the knowledge of what the future trends are (oops). I love creating garments and pretty things, but doubt i'd want to pursue design other than for my own gratification, a beautiful silhouette and a delicate fabric and I crumble. I love dressing others, and have a huge fascination with craving this experience, but I find it irritating I have no idea how to dress myself! I know what does and doesn't suit my 'shape', but this is as far as my creativity seems to go at the moment.

See the pattern, I ramble.. continually. I can see myself varying between posting 5 times a day to not having a single thought for a month! Whilst trying to figure myself out career wise I share a lovely little flat with my boyfriend, a wild creative, who loves making noise (works in sound for films) and is as spontaneous as a child life is never dull and I love him unconditionally. Meeting him has helped shape who I am, a process which was very much overdue, I adore him ore than anything and he is my complete world and I can't wait until we own a little house and can get a dog (I really want a dog!)

So here's a little about my life :)

A Late Welcome

.. 6 days late, i'm bringing in 2011. Always the latecomer, and always a procrastinator.

As i've previously said new year means pretty little to me, i've never been one for thinking 'this will be my year, better than last' etc. sometimes I wonder if i'd thought like that, maybe being more positive it would have improved my year instead of me letting it spiral, nethertheless i've gotten where I am with just plodding along, with many downs along the way. This was until last year, my first blog post was about new years and how unimportant it had previously been to me, but how positive I felt about the year coming up (see first post Jan 2010) and then it happened.. I had the most prefect year! 2010 was MY year! I don't know anyone that i've spoken to who has had a perfect year, where everything seems to have just gotten better and better, and I can't beleive after everything I had one! :) I said I hoped the year was on the up and that I hoped it would continue, it did, it still is and I hope 2011 trumps it! I hope everyone had a great 2010!

So here's a very fashionably late welcome to the new year! I can't wait to see what this year has in store for me, my boyfriend, our house, my family and friends.

Introduction

I created a blog practically identical to this, after two posts (link is at the bottom), I was ready to update it finally, and there was literally no way to get on. Whatever email address i'd used was no longer valid, and the back up email address I used wouldn't register as being that. I couldnt remember my login/password, and so my previous blog sits unloved. Problem arose creating another one, the email address I use was said to be registered to a blog already (not true) so more problems arose, trying to link between a new/old account, a non-existent email and a current non-but registered. URGH! 

I've pasted the first blog I wrote, as when I started that blog it was the beggining of the new me, I finally felt like my old self again after a few years of mistakes, confusion and unhappiness.. and it was how I felt at that exact moment, which has gotten me to where I am today.
So this is where I begin.. again..and will continue.

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Friday 8th January 2010

Beggining

The first week of 2010 over,
The first time i write..
I’ve never been one for embracing the saying; out with the old, in with the new. New year is such an insignificant time in my life, one incredible night a few years ago, otherwise just another evening. New year is a time to validate everything which has gone wrong, and hope beyond belief that the new year won’t have the same illfiting problems as It’s predecessor. This year however i both enjoyed new years eve, and looked forward to what this current year will hold.. Letting go of all the wrong doing’s, wrong decisions, unhappiness from the previous twelve months, and focusing on the last two months of 2009. The two months that have gotten me back to who I am, given me focus and excitement for the future, and created the most incredible memories and happiness that I look forward to experiencing not only for this coming year but many more to come.


I find throwing things away difficult, yes getting rid of mindless clutter is both necessary and mind clearing, however when on cleaning rampages when you stumble across some old treasures nothing is more satisfying. This so happened a few months ago I recaptured my love for my gameboy pocket. After finding this little battery operated toy whilst routing through old boxes I remembered how it had occupied my whole being years earlier! Collecting coins, fighting bad, following pikachu’s adventures, tetris! So obviously when i stumbled back upon this godly toy I almost passed out in delight. I say almost… because If I had, clearly this would have been a minor sanity issue, however I got the same excitement i once did as a young girl when i loaded up mario for that first game.


Once I’d found this, I went along finding many others, whilst sorting through my siblings room. I found polly pockets galore, wonderful minuscule fantasy worlds with little folk to embrace them, my gameboy colour; the upgrade to my little pocket friend. So many more.
With these treasured items In my possession I thought about days before every house had a computer, and when the PS1 was an incredibly high tech console. Yes, I may add I still have my PS1, alas it is the second; smaller version; but one of the prettiest little creations I’ve seen.


Moving on from this clear minute rant; finding these things made me a feel a little more like the old soul, and along with the most recent two months I’ve found everything I’d been missing. The creativity that was lacking during my degree, however on the surface enough to pass adequately. The relaxed happy nature which has laid dormant for years. Far from being a wallow story this is a mere acknowledgement of the aspects of my life i knew was still there but couldn’t find a way to bring back. As this year begins these lackings have made there way back, the creativity at Christmas; perfect timing, and the happiness so little time before an incredible person came into my life. Again, perfect timing!
So starting where I began, the saying that I absolutely detest is the most accurate few words for me this year. I can’t wait to embrace what this year brings, beautiful things, beautiful people, the most beautiful memories that’ll last years to come. With the most supportive boyfriend and close ones in the world this year will be the start of something..

Posted by Vicki

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There was a lady who commented on this blog saying that the entry sounded as if  I was falling in love, and that she hoped I didn’t mind her saying so, what I didn’t know was I wasn’t falling in love… I was already head over heels in it. My boyfriend who I spoke about in this entry had only recently come into my life, he’s still here, and we have the lovliest little home together.

As this post is such a significant one, about the most significant time in my life, it is where I end the last blog and where I need to start this new one.

Below is the link to my old blog, so I can continually be reminded of this initial post, and re-read those ladies kind words *

http://peacocklace.blogspot.com/ 

*additionally I can't delete previous blog 'ha'